Monday, October 27, 2008

A Quick Rundown of Some of the Most Popular Gay Fetishes in America

When it comes to the gay counterculture in America today, there are more gay fetishes around than you can shake a stick at. And to be sure, you can shake a stick at an awful lot of them. Sure, there are plenty of vanilla gay folks out there who do not involve any gay fetishes into their sexual habits, but it seems as though more often than not gay fetishes are involved in homosexual relationships. It can be said that being gay is a fetish in and of itself, but for the purposes of this article, we will just focus on some of the more hard core gay fetishes in the society today.

S and M is one of the more popular gay fetishes around. This involves one partner sexually or emotionally dominating the other, with one or both people involved getting sexual pleasure out of the activity. This particular gay fetish has lots of other stuff involved, such as whips, chains, blindfolds, leather, latex and a whole lot more. And all these are dedicated to hurting the submissive person in one way or another. There are actually a countless number of websites dedicated to this S and M gay fetish, with many heterosexual people engaging in the activity as well.

To find people who are interested in this S and M gay fetish, one only needs to do Google, Yahoo or MSN search and visit one of these websites and befriend the people who are also members of the community. For a real life gay fetish experience of this nature, you can go to an S and M gay fetish bar. There is usually one in just about every major city, so finding one is relatively easy. In more rural areas that do not have S and M gay fetish bars, you can usually find a group of people who are willing to host such events at their homes.

Another popular gay fetish involves bondage. In this gay fetish, one person ties up his or her partner with ropes or chains. This is a common gay fetish for both gays and lesbians, and this often includes blindfolds to enhance the bondage experience. Although related to the S and M gay fetish on a basic level, not all people who engage in bondage play are also into S and M. Yet another gay fetish involves age play, where one partner is significantly older than the other.

More to Gay Life Than Sex

Are all gay men just superficial disco bunnies with only one thing on their minds? The mass media would certainly have you believe that is so, and with figure heads such as Boy George and Julian Clary, who can blame the public for going along with this idea. Of course, straight acting gay men are just harder to detect. So homophobes continue with their prejudices and the 21st century, thinking gay man gets very lonely wondering where all the men like him are! How, then, do intelligent professional gay men meet each other? There are thousands of clubs and pubs, dating agencies and personal ads for cruising purposes, but it can be extremely difficult to meet professional gay friends for purely social purposes, where a deeper relationship may develop. This is where the gay dining club comes to the rescue. I recently tried Out & Out, London's longest established dining club for professional gay men and was amazed at how civilized an evening with 40 gay men could be.

Out & Out was started by the disarmingly charming and truly scrumptious Julia Melinek. Eleven years ago, opera singer Julia (she's sung Madam Butterfly for English National Opera) and fellow warbler, Mark Glanville (more recently the author of best – selling book The Goldberg Variations) realised that they were so good at organising dinner parties for gay colleagues that they might as well do it professionally. As Out & Out, they booked a stand at a Gay lifestyle exhibition at Earl's Court and pretty much became an instant success. Today they're the biggest dining club for professional gay men in the UK, with a membership that sometimes hits a thousand. They are not just another gay dating service in London. Through the gay dining club format, members can meet new friends, network professionally and chat without any of the posing and cruising obligations of the scene.

How did they do it? Professional fag hag (it's her description) Julia reckons that, as far as social skills are concerned, "you're born that way." But she likens her table – hopping duties at Out & Out functions to those of the circus plate spinner, forever dashing to give the plate at the end another twirl. Having seen her in action, I can confirm that, like the guy with the plates, she performs apparently effortlessly. But what is it with Julia and gay men? "There's a special relationship between straight women and gay men," she explains. "It's like the girlie friendship, opposite sexes getting on with each other without the sexual tension." The personal touch extends to communications with the Out & Out office. There are no mail-shots. Julia and Mark can spend eight hours a day on the phone, telling members about upcoming lunches and dinners, plus other events including theatre visits, foreign trips and boat cruises. Clearly the label ‘Gay Dining Club' only reveals part of the picture as members use the club for professional networking purposes, expanding their social horizons, debates, message posting and of course, inevitably, for gay dating.

But, ultimately, is it all about sex? Surprisingly, no. "It's far less a sexual thing than the scene," says Julia. I accepted an invitation to the gallery bar of the Cross Keys, a beautiful old pub in Chelsea, where Out & Out celebrated Valentine's Day. The mix of men was much as Julia had described, all ages, classes and races, but "the common denominator is intelligence, those who enjoy a dinner party atmosphere as opposed to posing and cruising."

After a 17 year relationship broke up, lawyer David T found it very difficult to "let loose" again. "In the bars I was very conscious of being older," he told me, "but here, as you can see, the age range is very wide." At Out & Out he has made a lot of gay friends, some men he now sees independently. What about romance? None as yet. David feels that Out & Out is primarily a social group. But then I met David L and William R who have been together for three years after meeting at an Out & Out function. "Jules is very good at judging," said David. "She sits people next to each other if she thinks they're going to get on. With us, she got it right." "I didn't want a gay dating agency when I joined Out and Out," said William "I was far more interested in networking with professional gay men and meeting new friends....but then I met David, and the rest is history!"

Now David is trying to get William to County Hall! "We'll invite Mark and Jules," David promised.

Gay Life in Andalucia

Gay Life in Andalucia Background to Andalucia's Popularity with the Gay Traveler The Gay traveler has always had an affiliation with Spain, and since the countries increasing popularity as a holiday destination in the 1960's and ‘70's, Andalucia's gay community has thrived. Not only due to the widely open and accepting Spanish people, holidays are typically a time when beliefs and prejudices are put aside and the desire to relax, unwind and to have a good time doing whatever you do takes over. Perhaps the fact that people are displaced from their usual surroundings whilst on holiday, results in the removal of barriers and stereotypes that they may normally have. Several of these stereotypes exist around the lifestyles and habits of gay people, and therefore, rightly or wrongly, it is widely accepted that the climate, beaches, club culture and shopping facilities of the Costa del Sol have increased Andalucia's popularity with the gay market. Likewise, the trend towards rural tourism and multi-centre holidays has increased gay travelers awareness of communities that exist in other significant destinations such as Cadiz, Seville and Cordoba. Another stereotype revolves around the notion of the ‘pink pound' which in the UK refers to the spending power generated by gay consumers. This group has been historically assumed to be part of a family unit of just two, is less likely to have children and thus is more likely to be professional individuals who have concentrated on their career rather than their family. It has been concluded that these individuals are more likely to have greater earning potential and less daily outgoings upon which to spend. During a time when Andalucia has seen so much change so rapidly, and where the Costa del Sol has been considered a fashionable and exclusive resort, it's perhaps not surprising that much of this ‘pink' money has been spent in Andalucia. Gay Marriage A key influencing figure in the prospect of increased gay settlers in Andalucia will be the recent legalization of gay marriage, with Spain being one of a handful of countries that has done so. Homosexuality was illegal in Spain before 1978, when the constitution within which it was legalized was agreed. This acceptance of gay unity as a viable and now legal alternative to the more traditional one man one woman marriage earned Spain much notoriety within the Catholic Church where it was still seen as unacceptable. But, to there credit, Spain decided that it was the right way to go, and the recognition of gay relationships in a legal and formal capacity was realized. Gay Lifestyle Much of gay lifestyle centres around the café/club culture, and in Andalucia, this is in abundance. Due mainly to the climate, the café scene thrives where outside and pavement dinning and socializing is the norm. Licensing laws in Spain have a larger effect on the gay scene and most clubs stay open into the early hours of the morning, with few opening much before 10.00pm. Club life in Andalucia centres around current music fashions and trends, and most famously amongst the community, within the Nogalera area of Torremolinos on the Costa del Sol. Cabaret, which still proves to be an extremely popular theme in many gay friendly establishments, will be found in any significant resort, and it's not unusual to see very colourful cabaret with a gay or camp undertone even in the smallest of provincial towns! Support Groups There are several groups offering support to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people in Andalucia. You can normally find associations within most large towns and cities, and likewise within the provincial towns there will be a presence of some description, no matter how small. Such organizations will help gay people to integrate into the community, offer help and assistance in most matters, and give advice about socializing and community groups where you can meet new friends Information can be obtained from one of the larger groups, COLEGA (Colectiva de Lesbianas y Gais en Andalucia) Conclusion It goes without saying that the gay community has embraced all that is on offer in Andalucia and has really made it its own. Admirably, gay people have utilized and added to the already colourful and vibrant Andalucia life in a way that other communities have never even considered. It's not unusual to assume that the gay communities' love of Andalucia will continue to grow, with more people using the region for holidays, a place to live and work and to ultimately retire and settle.

Authenticity and the Gay Identity

Many years ago, when I worked in education, I spent my summers directing outdoor park district activities for kids. The children would come from the neighborhood to play various games. One year I recall a teenage boy coming to the park with a desire to talk with me. He would attend a youth group at his church (which was located nearby) and then meander over to the park facility. At some point in our conversation, he told me that he was gay and that he felt ashamed as a result his church’s anti-gay sentiment. He felt very alone because he had told no one in his youth group of his sexual orientation. His parents were not informed, and would have been mortified had they known of his gay identity. Each time he came to the park we would talk about his struggles with being gay. Because I had trained student leaders to work with the park kids, I was able to devote some attention to this troubled young man. This was my first exposure in conversing with an individual who professed to be gay. I learned a great deal about a segment of society that played out their lives in agonizing silence.

I learned that gay people, like other minorities, are used to being stereotyped. Those of us who are straight, perceive gays to be effeminate, flamboyant, impulsive and artsy. Most of the gay people I have met do not fit that pattern. They typically feel isolated because their behavioral patterns are actually heterosexual in nature with the exception of their sexual affinity toward others of the same sex.

With the advent of multicultural thinking, gays are beginning to feel more comfortable and accepted. Their level of confidence affects their relationships and style of relating to the world. The acknowledgement of being gay takes supreme courage. The odds have been stacked against those who choose to make their gay identity known. Many adults, now in midlife, are just beginning to acknowledge their true sexual identity. With such exploration comes the awareness that “I feel a stronger sexual connection with those of the same sex.” Such a realization may signal the emergence of terror – “I am not who I pretended to be.”

When you listen to the stories of those who are gay, you get a sense of the conflict and tension they have experienced in their struggle to be authentic. Most have known from an early age that they felt different about their sexual identity. In an attempt to conceal their feelings and behavior, many gays worked feverishly at removing any vestiges of gay traits from their behavior.

Adolescence is a difficult time of turmoil for most youngsters. Add to that the issue of sexual identification and it certainly makes the process of navigating adolescence that much more strenuous. Many schools are afraid to acknowledge their gay students and provide little or no support for those in need. Ideological and political pressures play a role in keeping school administrators and school board members from stepping up to the plate in support for gay youth.

In my professional counseling practice, I have personally witnessed the anguish and conflict experienced by those individuals who have professed to be gay. I have also observed the courage that many patients have demonstrated in the process of emerging from their silence over their sexual orientation. Learning to be authentic is an important component of counseling and to honestly identify one’s sexual identity may be apart of that process.

Although there is little evidence to support its efficacy, many counselors surprisingly continue to espouse reparative treatment for gay clients. Counselors, who many times disguise their intentions, choose to subscribe to the archaic notion that sexual orientation is a learned pattern or choice rather than a lifelong identity. Reparative therapy views the gay individual as disordered and in need of transformation. Generally, counselors who conduct reparative therapy for gays look for deep-seated traumas as a causative factor in the “identity conflict” of those they serve.

Counselors who insist on touting reparative therapy for gays typically maintain their own biases regarding homosexuality. They carry these biases into treatment and negatively affect the self-worth and integrity of those they serve. Their insistence in curing gays creates a climate of self-doubt and defectiveness among those they treat.

Many in the religious community are unable to reconcile their beliefs and faith and are reluctant to identify with those who define themselves as being gay. This fact causes many gays to reject their faith or live in a constant state of religious conflict. Years ago, a friend of mine decided to spend a weekend of solace at a religious retreat center. This was to be a time of isolation and reflection. However, her time quickly took on a new meaning. Gay men from churches throughout the country flew into this retreat center. Many of them were board members, elders, and pastors of their congregations. No one knew of their sexual orientation with the exception of the hundreds of Christian colleagues who met at this retreat center to worship together once a year. Every year, these men got together in the freedom of their true identity and worshiped God. They talked with my friend, expressing their sense of liberation and love for the God they embraced. My friend said it was a moving experience as she was asked to join them in their religious services which were filled with energy and passion.

Denial is a dangerous thing. Those who choose to ignore their true sense of self pay a price for their own personal deception. It takes courage to live with the way things really are. There are pitfalls along the way, but it is more honest and authentic. Those in the gay community have the right to define themselves the way they wish. Unfortunately, for openly gay people, there are consequences for living with an identity they did not choose.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Online Gay Dating, Relationship and Lifestyle

The popularity of gay lifestyle is evident from the number of gay dating sites that has sprung up on Internet in recent times. It is a blessed platform for closeted gays to contact gay males for gay romance, love and sex relationship as anyone else would wish for. gays can search free gay personals on gay dating websites for gay relationship.

Out Personals

Out Personals, Queer - these words characterize gay lifestyle, which till today is not an accepted mode of life to a large populace on this planet. Even in modern, fast-paced societies where liberal attitudes and sexual liberation are a norm, gay men are looked down upon. Gay activity is sneered or frowned upon and they are looked down as queers or out personals the naming to is self explanatory.

Social Life

Country politics and social caretakers indulge in raging debates on gay lifestyles and gay rights in discussion forums, parliament, and conventions. There is a marked hesitancy in accepting gays in government services and other public enterprises, though some nations have accorded acceptance but more has to be done. In many instance persons discovered as following gay lifestyle have been debarred from office jobs and social circles.

The crux is that homosexuality is in practice since ages and it is still as popular, without any signs of receding or vanishing from the face of earth. Then why not accept it since it does not impinge on anyone’s privacy or way of life. Nor is it detrimental to the society since gay dating lifestyle is a much-closeted practice.

I am not advocating gay life as a gay-which I am not-but what I want to stress is that everyone has a right to express his or her sexuality and practice as long as it does not hurt others.

Gay Lifestyle and Relationship

The reason behind ridicule or sneer of gay lifestyle is that it is a biological aberrance as sex is for procreation and a man-to-man sex does not give birth to new being. But then, anal sex practice is not limited to gay couples only, it is much practiced by straight couples too, so what is funny. Any way gay love and romance is a very strong force that binds the gay couple together sometimes in permanent relationship.

Sex is for procreation but it is for pleasure too, and any which way you can. Therefore, "Out" sex practice is not restricted to guys only but rather practiced by straight lifestyle followers in some way or the other. So live and let live.

How to Pick Up a Gay Guy?

Sitting at the corner of a party, feeling lonely and looking around, you must have guessed ‘is the flamboyantly dressed guy with twinkle toes gay?’

…Contemplating to pick up a gay guy of your type and already feeling butterflies in the stomach??? But, the process of picking up is not that difficult and nerve-wracking one, as it has been perceived to be. You may not be a natural seducer like some other gay men, but that must not prevent you from trying your hands at picking up men. If you follow our guidelines minutely, you will be game for it!

Come; let’s share the tricks…

Suppose, you get besotted with the charming guy whom you have just come across in the bar or club. Your heart has already started beating for him!!!…What are you going to do now??? Here are some valuable tips…

First of all, making eye contact is really important. If, in any case, he doesn’t notice you, do something (possibly, dancing, singing or cracking a joke) that will catch his attention instantaneously. But, beware, don’t create a scene or make a fool out of yourself. That may lead to negative consequences.

Giving him a fleeting look over and again is welcome, but ogling at him at a stretch can be irritating. An interested person will surely return your glances… and that makes your job half done.

A slight shy smile of yours can follow his fleeting glimpses. All these make the process of picking up more exciting.

Once you become sure that the person is interested, you can go straight to him and talk. If the guy is partying with his friends, please don’t forget to utter ‘Excuse me’ to him and his friends before talking. You are advised to just pass by him, in case, you are feeling too shy to talk to him in front of others. While going by, give him such signals that the chap gets lured to talk to you at a corner place of the room.

Once he comes closer to you, your duty is to introduce yourself. You may ask him his name, where he lives, his occupation and other necessary details. Just kick-start a proper conversation.

Next, you can invite him to the dance floor or offer him a drink along with pizza. Never get panicky and talk and behave as naturally as possible. Going over the top and showing artificial emotions unnecessarily can be a major put off. Don’t get disheartened if he is not willing to dance with you, maybe he is as nervous as you are.

Say that you had a great time talking to him. Exchanging mobile numbers and e-mail IDs will be great. Once he gives you a call (maybe the same night, the next day or few days later), you can be sure that you are succeeded in picking up the gay guy of your dreams. Now it’s your turn to congratulate yourself, because you have made it!!!

Some other essential tips

The aspect of physical charisma can never be ignored. You may not be an Adonis, but dressing up in neat and clean clothes and putting on some make-up can sometimes create sheer magic.

Besides working on your appearance, you have to enhance your social skills as well. How you walk and how you talk surely does matter. Otherwise, the chance of succeeding in picking up your man becomes less.

The more you approach and meet different types of guys, the more you become adept in the game. You are required to come out of your shell. Being shy and introvert can’t give you much in this field. Brush up your conversational proficiency.

The terms hesitation and nervousness should not be there in your dictionary. These traits cannot take you anywhere. For coming up with flying colors in the game of seduction, you have to put all your inhibitions behind bar.

Try to start up conversations in a decent note. Keep yourself away from cheesy and horny pick-up lines. These things can easily turn one off.

As you carry on your tête-à-tête, say something that can keep him engrossed. You can express your preferences with essential inputs like ‘That guy was a real hunk’ etc. These references are vital in keeping your discussion going.

Give him time to develop attraction for you. You should neither force yourself on him nor make gratuitous sexual overtones.

Give him compliments, but don’t get overboard with them. You should never sound like a fake.

All your gestures and postures are supposed to be in a measured way. Make the values within you evident. Keep away from meaningless talking. Try to show him your sense of humor. Narrate the joyous moments you have spent with your ex-boyfriends. By any means, you have to bring forward all your good qualities.

Fleeting touches often create wonders. But, crossing the limit of decency can mar your whole process of picking up.

If your guy turns out to be straight and has made his preferences clear to you, there’s no need to stretch your conversation anymore. Nothing is worse than creating pressure on a straight guy for getting into a relationship.

Hope, now you have understood the ways of picking up your man…so, why are you wasting anymore time…Let’s embark on the exhilarating adventure… & have fun…more fun!!!

Nice Better Than Gay Paris

The area's largest city is Nice, which, contrary to popular opinion, is not a sickly 'nice', but a little bit naughty with a pervading tolerant spirit and string of gay hangouts between your Nice holiday apartment and favourite beach.

La Plage de Coco beach is Nice's gay beach. I say beach, but I mean rocky platform. A second private beach - Plage Castel - is more popular and categorised as gay-friendly, as is its neighbouring public beach. There are at least two further gay beaches just outside Nice including La Plage d'Eze - or simply 'Eze'.

Eze is a busy, gay, mainly nudist hangout, but you'll need wheels to get in on the action. If you don't have a car, or a friend with a car who'll wait outside your Nice apartment while you check you've got your sunglasses, spare sunglasses, lotion, lip balm, drinks, snacks and dips (there's nothing for miles, or at least a mile), take the bus (the no.100 leaving from outside the main bus station).

You'll need to go down some steps, take a right across a first beach (not gay), and cross the rocks before you arrive in this tranquil haven of bare beauty - a good ten-minute trot across the pebbles.

Oh, and if you don't like pebbles, don't book a holiday apartment in Nice. Or, take a trip to La Plage de La Batterie for some sandy moments. In high summer you'll be sharing the sand with young families, meaning a lot of children. Ange and Brad have recently been clogging up Nice beach space with their growing clan.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were among those attending the nearby 61st Cannes Film Festival, running May 14 - 25. While this is a strictly invite only affair, Nice has an open door policy on all its festivals - being a popular vacation resort there are quite a few - as well its annual winter-month festival, Nice Carnival, held in February.

Since the arrival of the railway to the French Riviera, hordes of British leisure travellers have spent their summers in Nice accommodation off the Promenade des Anglais. With the advent of budget airlines, Nice became ever more accessible. In recent years the French Riviera including Nice has received increased recognition as a gay destination too.

Nice is the fifth largest city in France, so the scene is smaller compared to the scene in larger European cities. But there are ample gay hotspots both in and around Nice, from beaches to bars and clubs, and there's plenty of accommodation in Nice aimed solely or principally at the gay community visiting the area. Most if not all of these hotels, B&Bs and Nice apartment rentals have good standards of service, and some are very well situated - close to the beach and main attractions.

For many Nice's appeal is its vibrancy and energy which is at once relaxing and energising. Founded by the Greeks, who first named it after a shoe ('Nike' the Greek goddess of victory), Nice first became a busy trading port, and then later a major tourist centre and backyard for the moneyed folk including Elton John, who splits his time across his Nice villa and other residences. Who knows, maybe you'll fall in love with and buy an apartment in Nice too.

Tyson Gay, Starstruck

Already a superstar himself, the fastest man in America, the fastest man to run under any condition, a world champion, and a possible star of the Beijing Olympics. But when he got up close Kobe Bryant at the gym during their stay in Beijing, Tyson Gay without inhibitions, showed that he was a fan of the basketball superstar.

He was star-struck as he pose with Bryant for a photo, and he even text messaged his mom about it.

Fellow Olympian Bryant asked Gay about his recently injured hamstring.
Everybody is eager to know about his condition: Kobe wants to know about it. Asafa Powell and Usain Bolt, Gay's chief competitors in the 100 meters, certainly want to know about it. And Gay himself is probably getting uneasy to see how the hamstring will react Friday when he runs the preliminary 100 meter heats. This is his first real races since going down at Olympic trials last month.

At a news conference Monday, Gay again told the press that he is 100 percent conditioned and ready, but conceded he had his doubts as he was lying on the track in Eugene, Oregon, after his hamstring seized up and sent him agonizing in pain in the 200-meter trials.

"I was in a little bit of a panic because, you know, the injury, you know, it really hurt," Gay shared. "But when I was on the ground, it kind of eased out a little bit. It could have been adrenaline or whatever."

After that incident, he immediately went under an intensive four weeks of therapy, including a stay in Germany for work with a doctor known for cutting-edge treatments.

Gay declined a race in London late last month, not because he couldn't compete, but because it meant more for him to be 100 percent coming to the Olympics than risking being 85 percent just to go to a meet to see where he's at.

This will make us all eager to find out together in one of the most highly anticipated races in Olympic history.

If all goes as expected, the 100 final on Saturday will allow three men who have broken 9.8 seconds to meet head-on. Powell owned the world record at 9.74 seconds. Bolt broke it in May at 9.72. Gay, before he got hurt at Olympic trials, ran a wind-aided 9.68; it didn't count as a world record, but his 9.77 in a qualifying heat did overset Maurice Green's nine-year-old American mark.

Humble at 25, Gay said that he can't really compare himself to Maurice Green yet. He further said that he hasn't reached that status, not even close. For one, Greene has two Olympic 100 meter medals, including gold at Sydney 2000. This is Gay's first Olympic games.

There are indications he could be closing on Greene, especially after winning
world championships in the 100 and 200 last year.

It will, however, take more than great performances to become America's next track super star. Greene used to enjoy junctures leading up to races flexing his muscles, pacing and trying to intimidate the seven guys lined up with him. But Gay said, when he's in the blocks, if he's not shaking, he really is thinking about trying to react.

It's hard to imagine Greene being in awe of NBA celebrities during past opening ceremonies.

Gay even told coach Bubba Thorton that he wanted to get close to Bryant during the athlete's march into the stadium Friday night (the day before Gay's 26th birthday). He wanted to get close to Kobe so he can get on TV. Coach Thorton just said that he would be fine if he stays where he is. And indeed, he got his own air time amid the sea of U.S. athletes parading into Beijing's Bird's Nest stadium.

While Gay's modesty doesn't lend itself to sound bites, it does make him a crowd favorite. Maybe more likable than many of the recent stars in a sport tarnished by doping scandals and shady characters. It also makes for the kind of genuine moment he relished when he ran into Bryant. It's a moment Gay will always remember from the Olympic games. But he surely hopes, not the only one.

Gay Marriages and Wedding Rings

“The soul is a circle.” – Plato

Plato made this statement many centuries ago, but its significance is just as profound today when you think of it in relation to the wedding ring. Probably no other ring ever created has been surrounded with as much folklore and tradition as the ring that unites the hearts of two people. Gay marriages and wedding rings both represent the magic of love and freedom. Once this magical spark has been lit, love naturally evolves into commitment pledged with a wedding ring.

For two people who want to exchange vows of devotion in a gay marriage, the history supporting the role of the wedding ring in the ceremony is bound to the magical symbol of the unbroken circle, which the Egyptians described as “without beginning, without end.” This statement describes the essence of the quality that the wedding rings impart to the celebration of gay marriage: a bond of love between two people that is timeless.

Just as much of nature expresses itself in this shape; our bodies systems as well are attuned to the circle. The wedding ring in gay marriage brings with it all of the mystical power of its circular shape.

A ring can be worn on any finger: the choice of which hand and which finger is the best one to use has changed over time. During the gay marriage ceremony, the wedding ring placed on the third finger of the left hand provides strength and grounds the emotions.

As the reality of the fact that love knows no gender becomes more widely known, it is only natural that jewelers from around the world have begun crafting wedding rings especially for gay marriages with meticulous care in the adorning the circle with symbols of gay pride.

In the ceremony of gay marriage the wedding rings carry a deeper meaning; for gay marriage expresses the unbound generosity of love: it is free of blind spots. While there are many who consider gay marriage a “completion” of their love for one another, many others feel that the celebration begins a completely new chapter in their relationship.

Wedding rings in the celebration of gay marriage can be ornate, encrusted with jewels such as diamonds or pink sapphires or a simple band or two of precious metal such as titanium, sterling silver, gold or platinum. Some couples prefer ethnic designs such as Native American which are well loved for their extensive use of turquoise, the gemstone that denotes good fortune.

In addition to gay pride symbols, the use of culturally derived symbols for instance, the Celtic love knot design and the Irish Claddagh, which shows two hands clasping a heart to stylize a ring are also very popular.

As the emotion of love is universally understood, the way wedding rings are designed adds to their significance in binding two people in the union of gay marriage. Indeed, the exchanging of vows and wedding rings are the moments in the ceremony that are best remembered by the coupe throughout their years of marriage.

Would a gay marriage ceremony be the same without the wedding ring? Is a tangible item required to show our devotion to our partners? This is not the fundamental significance of the wedding ring: it is much more than this. It seals the oath between the two people in the union and gives the witnesses to the gay marriage evidence of the commitment that was made.

As you plan your gay marriage celebration and begin to think about the design of wedding rings that will best express your sentiments, be sure to review the selections from the many designers who specialize in creating gay pride jewelry for this most special celebration.

Gay Singles Seek Romance at Free Gay Online Dating Sites

Gay singles seek love and romance at free gay online dating sites is common, easily, and conveniently. There are many gay dating services out there to help gay singles to find their online dates, which have created thousands of gay relationships and even marriages. Selecting the best free gay singles site is not hard on this electronic world. Some gay dating sites offer free registration then charge members a fee when contacting other members. There are free gay personal sites which offer 100% free two-way gay matches. It means that you can have a free registration as well as free interaction with other gay online singles. In other words, you do not pay any fee when joining and contacting other gay personal ads online. Free gay dating services offer members with no credit card needed. You can find your gay dates at the comfort of your computer, in the living room, or in the bedroom.

We have seen many gay relationships and gay marriages in America. There are gay couples walking hands in hands on street, at market, and other places at this beautiful country. Gay men do not need to go to the bars to seek their gay dates and they do not go the nightclubs to find their soul mates. Seeking gay dates is right there in front of your computer. You need to turn it on, join gay dating sites, and start dating. Is it simple? Yes. There are other cool functions such as chats, instant messages, and others from free gay single dating sites. Joining gay dating website is the start for gay singles who seek for love and romance online. It is simple to register a personal ad and you can even add your photos. After you have already created a personal ad, then you can starting contacting other online gay singles. Search for gay matches on these sites, then send messages to any gay single member you like most.

Selecting the best free gay online dating sites is up to you. You need to find a gay date site which has local singles so you do not have to travel a long distance to meet your dates. Popular free gay date sites have thousands of local singles for you to seek a date. Seeking free gay dates is easy and simple these days. Many gay singles find their future dates online, so do you. For starters, joining free gay personal sites is recommended. After you have some experience about online gay dating services, then you can join a paid single dating site. Free gay online dating sites have more serious singles and can help gay singles to find long lasting relationships.

There are many gay singles online waiting to meet you. Can you imagine somewhere around you, there is another single gay man, who is thinking of you. So, are you ready to meet that special gay men? Do not wait. Take action now. Join these free gay personals sites to find your other half of your dream.

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Saturday, October 25, 2008

Is your Husband a Gay? Signs & Indications

SIGHTSEEING ON HONEYMOON

The honeymoon is meant for lots of frolicking indoors. However, if your hubby is obsessing about sight-seeing more than exploring you, it could either mean that he has a low libido or he's... gay. Ignore this if your hubby's into photography or film, though.

HE HAS AN UNDERWEAR FETISH...

Only that it's not for you. If your husband is collecting a range of funky looking underwear, they better be for you. Or else, someone else is having a blast at your expense. Other accessories to watch out for are lubricants, two cell phones and the occasional thong.

HE SPENDS MORE TIME IN THE BATHROOM GETTING READY

The metrosexual revolution might have already happened, but please remember that men and women traditionally have different methods to grooming. As in women take hours. So if he's taking too long, then he's taking too long... to come out as well.

INSTEAD OF THE USUAL WORLD CUP PARTY, YOUR HUSBAND THROWS AN ACADEMY AWARD PARTY

Men like sports. So if he's throwing a World Cup Party, you shouldn't be that concerned. But if it's going to be an Academy Award party that is driving him dizzy with excitement... then honey, you've got male. Male rivals, that is. Then again, he needn't be into sports to be straight. That's too literal.

HE PICKS OUT THE CLOTHES HE WANTS YOU TO WEAR SO YOU REMAIN IN STYLE

There are only two options for this. He's pulling off a James Steward from Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo or else he's a queen. There are no in-betweens, if he's obsessing about what you're wearing. This though only applies to dainty pretty dresses he likes to see on you. Don't mistake this for the 'the dress is too revealing, so don't wear it'.

YOU ARE THE ONE BEGGING TO COSY UP ALL THE TIME

Once again, let's get back to traditions and norms. Men have testosterone, something that makes them yearn for sex more than women. If you're the one who's begging for sex, he's either having an affair with another woman, or he's having an affair with another man. Or he's just not into women, and he's married you.

HE WANTS TO DO A THREESOME... BUT WITH ANOTHER GUY...

Men like porn flicks with lesbians in them. But they wouldn't trade this fetish for sex with another man. Unless, he's bisexual of course. And if it's him making the request, it's not just good old-fashioned experimenting. It's sexperimenting... for his hunger. More importantly, threesomes are a telltale sign that something is amiss in a relationship - period whether he's straight or pink. Romping with mirrors for enjoyment is great fun. That way there's always more of you. But if he's looking into the mirror he's into himself. .. and his own kind. That's really not funny. Sex is passionate, and yes, the occasional laugh when bed bloopers occur is ok. But giggling at the act is not good.

Alan Turning and the Right to be Gay

Alan Turing is considered to be the father of computer science. In 1936 he helped answer one of the unsolved mathematical problems of the time, Gödel's incompleteness theorem, by showing that it is theoretically possible to design a machine which, given any equation, could decide whether or not it could be proven. During the World War II Turning worked in the British Communication headquarters at Bletchley Park where he was instrumental in solving the problem of the Enigma machine.

As well as laying down the foundations for the personal computer Turing considered moral dilemmas in computing well before anyone had the technology capable of causing these problems. In 1950 he thought up a test to determine whether or not a computer had developed artificial intelligence. This is known as the Turing test, and involved someone engaging in an instant message type conversation with a number of people without being able to tell which one wasn't really a human (Turing, 1950).

It wasn't until 1980 that John Searle showed that a computer could follow the rules of language to devise a reply without understanding it (Searle, 1980).

Two years after coming up with this idea Turing was burgled by a nineteen year old boy with whom he had had consensual sex. He reported the crime and in doing so was forced to admit to his sexuality. He was charged with gross indecency under Section 11 of the Criminal Law Amendment Act of 1885.

This law, implemented by Attorney-General Richard Webster, was also designed to protect women and children from sexual abuse and so it was important that it extended into the domestic sphere. Yet it required witness testimony and so could be used for blackmail and extortion. Just over 50 years earlier, in 1895, Oscar Wilde had been given two years of hard labour under this law. Wilde's time in prison had severely damaged his health and he died, at the age of 46, just three years after being released.

Turing was given the choice between suffering Wilde's fate or choosing to take oestrogen injections for a year to decrease his libido. He chose the injections, they made him impotent and permanently deformed his body, his security clearance was revoked and he lost his job.

Turing wrote to a friend;

Turing believes machines think

Turing lies with men

Therefore machines do not think

(Letter to Dr Norman Routledge, 1952).

In 1952, aged 41, he committed suicide by eating an apple laced with cyanide, perhaps influenced by Snow White, the favourite film of his friend Godel. It wasn't until fifteen years later that consensual sex in the privacy of your own home was decimalised in the UK.

There have been a number of historic arguments as to why we should ban homosexuality. Lord Devlin (1959), a knight and British judge in the late '50s believed that if enough people were offended by something then it should be outlawed. This was because he thought that society was bound together by a shared morality and he believed that intolerance of homosexuality was one of these shared values. This view seems redundant in the modern age as an intellectual way to attack homosexuality.

Yet Michael Levin (1997), a professor of philosophy in New York, argues that heterosexual people's disgust of homosexuals is so great that it would be wrong to force them to have to work together. Levin argues that this disgust might be biological in origin since he believed that homosexuality was a disease, this is because he believed that homosexuals were intrinsically unhappy. This claim was supported by his theory that each bodily organ has a purpose which must be fulfilled in order for people to be happy. According to this sex with someone of the same gender is not morally wrong, but never having heterosexual sex would mean not fulfilling the needs of your body and this would make you intrinsically unhappy. He dismisses obvious counter examples such as celibate priests because the priest chooses celibacy for a 'higher purpose'. Needless to say, these arguments seem childish at best.

Sometimes people have used Kant's Categorical Imperative (1785) to justify banning homosexuality. This states that the morality of an action can be determined if we think about what the consequences would be if everyone were to do it. Lying is always wrong because if everyone lied it would have terrible consequence for society. The fact that if everyone were homosexual then no children would be born is often used to explain why it is unnatural. However, I think this use of the Categorical Imperative is wrong, it would be terrible if everyone were postmen and there were no farmers, however this does not mean that people shouldn't be free to be postmen. A universal law could be simply that no one can enforce sexual control over consenting adults who are not harming anyone, since a world where we were not in control of our own sex lives would be terrible, this is analogous to Mill's harm principle.

I believe that gay people should have the same rights as all other people: to have sex, to marry and to adopt children. To not allow this implies that homosexuals are something less than human and I think that it is this view which is most damaging to society.

Gay Marriage: Pros and Cons

The truth of the matter is, I think, they cannot!

Pick any argument they make and they can easily be rebuffed.

Let's look at the top three excuses one at a time:

1) Marriage is an American Institution and must be protected to be just between a man and a woman: Do you talk about 50% divorce rate? That’s far from an institution. Also, as long as 2 drunks can get married in a drive thru wedding chapel in Las Vegas, that's very weak ground on which to build and institution

2) Marriage is a gift from God and must be preserved: Do you talk about separation of church and state. See the first amendment to the US Constitution.

3) Marriage is for procreation/children: Then marriage licenses should only be given to fertile couples, and those who are paralyzed, or women who have gone thru menopause may not be married because they cannot have children.

4) Gay marriage will undermine US Society: See the State of Massachusetts. Gay marriage has been the law there for nearly 2 years. There has been NO destruction of society there. The streets are not running with blood, the sky is not falling - life goes on!
The concept of Separate but Equal has never withstood Constitutional muster, and it won't here.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

No Fats, No Fems: the Gay Masculine Ideal

No Fats, No Fems: The Gay Masculine Ideal
John A. Lewis, Jr.
The idea of gay masculinity seems absurd to many in the dominant heterosexual world. Common stereotypes portray homosexual men as devoid of masculine characteristics (McDiarmid). Many conclude that masculinity exists in opposition to femininity, and because gay men are not sexually attracted to women, then they cannot be masculine. The flamboyant, fabulous, and feminine sissy is a popular caricature of the gay man in television and film. Likewise, the quiet, asexual gay man is popular because he does not make straight men uncomfortable with the fact that he enjoys sex with other men. Jack McFarland, the best known character of the television sit-com, Will and Grace, falls into the former category. His character is loud, silly, irresponsible, and the epitome of the classic effeminate gay man. Will’s character, on the other hand, is attractive, smart, professional, and practically asexual. One can imagine his relationship with his best friend, Grace, as having more romantic potential then he has with another man. But most gay men despise those depictions. Their lives are vastly different, and more fulfilling, than either man’s character on the television show.
Gay men are part of a subculture; and subcultures often see themselves in a different way than the over-culture’s view of them. Homosexual men are no exception, and have developed their own definitions of masculine identity. Not surprisingly, men-who-love-men can be just as judgmental as the heterosexual world that judges them. Visit, if you dare, any online gay dating site, and you will find guys in search of str8-acting (straight-acting) men; and most ads conclude with the popular phrase: No fats, No fems. Gay men tend to be straight-forward, no pun intended, when describing what they are looking for in a short-term boyfriend, long-term partner, or fuck buddy: a relationship where the parties are sexually compatible, but have little to nothing else in common. It can be argued that gay men’s attitudes regarding masculinity are influenced by society, or from childhood experiences. Ultimately, the most important thing that matters to gay men is what other gay men think of them. They are constantly attempting to meet the complex criteria of the gay masculine ideal: a handsome face; strong, muscular body; a manly demeanor; and hyper-sexual without being sluttish.
First, it would be foolish of me to write about a subject that I know nothing about. Suffice it is to say that I have personal experience as part of the gay subculture. The trajectory of a gay man’s life can be summarized as follows: As soon as an adolescent boy realizes that he is sexually attracted to the same sex, his journey to becoming a complete, gay man begins. He quickly learns that his youth is his greatest asset. A young gay man is considered a prize in the eyes of other gay men, young and old. During his late teenage years, and during the first few years of his twenties, the openly gay man usually has no problem establishing friendships, and thoroughly exploring his sexuality. However, the bloom of gay youth quickly fades as he reaches his mid-twenties. At this point, he must make the transition into a mature gay man. It is during this metamorphosis that he discovers how to remain desirable as he inevitably ages. Gay men wage a constant battle against time. They refuse to “go gentle into that good night” (Thomas line 1). Gay men are far more conscious of their bodies than their straight counterparts.
Gym memberships are regarded as necessary. Diet sodas, low calorie food, and frequent facials are weapons against age. Usually, by the quarter-century mark, the gay man focuses his powers on achieving the gay masculine ideal by a plethora of methods.
Twentieth-century artists provided a template for the image of the ideal gay man. Tom of Finland, born Touko Laaksonen in Finland, was a famous homoerotic fetish artist. His pencil drawings depict ruggedly-handsome men, bulging with muscles, brandishing raging erections, and frequently engaged in gay sex (Tom of Finland Foundation). The men illustrated were nearly cartoon-like in the exaggeration of their male physical attributes. Tom of Finland never drew girlish men. Although marginally appreciated by mainstream artists, Tom of Finland found avid fans among gay men worldwide. Gay erotic novels frequently featured his art on the covers, and as illustrations of sex scenes described. He influenced the emergence of clones during the 1970's. These were gay men who dressed and behaved as hyper-masculine imitations of heterosexual men. An outstanding example is the disco group, “The Village People,” who were a comic depiction of a cross-section of manly heterosexual men. However, gay men took notice of these examples. Mustaches, flannel shirts, and denim became the favored costume of gay men attempting to appear sexy and distinctly masculine. They mastered the walk of the straight man, propelling themselves with their shoulders and arms without the feminine swivel of the hips. Another influential artist, whose work was more widely accepted by mainstream art, was Robert Mapplethorpe. His homoerotic photography features “an emphasis on classical formal beauty” (The Robert Mapplethorpe Foundation). Most of his models are unusually beautiful men with bodies similar to those represented by Greek sculptors. The overall effect was cyclical. Gay men imitated the masculinity displayed in homoerotic art; and the artists were fueled by the men they idolized as their ideal of gay masculinity.
Yet, stereotypes are based on truth. It is a fact that some gay men are effeminate. And certainly not all gay men are perfect male physical specimens. Such gay men are victims of the no fats, no fems ideal. These men are double-minorities. They are excluded by heterosexuals because they are so different from so-called normal straight men. Often, they are also ridiculed and shunned by their gay brothers, who deem them unattractive and undesirable. Gay men do not seek out androgynous or obviously effeminate men for intimate relationships. For the majority of gay men, the flamboyant queen is merely a diversion, and provides outrageous entertainment at gay clubs, or is the ultimate hostess at dinner parties, and gay functions. Effeminate and overweight gay men have devised strategies to help them cope with their place on the gay periphery. Some protect themselves with caustic wit, sarcasm, or the façade of being jaded. They live vicariously through the lives of their female icons; usually beautiful, talented, scandalous, or troubled divas: living and dead. Observe the attendance of concerts by Barbra Streisand, Bette Midler, Madonna, or Whitney Houston; and one will find marginalized gay men are the most loyal fans. These coping mechanisms conceal the pain of their rejection because they cannot meet the gay masculine ideal.
The modern heterosexual man is different in this post-feminist era in comparison to the man of the 1950’s. Today’s straight man is more sensitive, and less misogynistic than his father. He is more apt to share household duties with his wife, as well as care for their children. It is valid to question whether gay men will change their perceptions of masculinity. The answer lies in gay youth who are coming out earlier than previous generations. Now, gay youth are more comfortable with their identities. They refuse to hide, or feel ashamed about the sexual aspect of their lives. Gay teens are embracing words to describe themselves that were used by hateful homophobes just twenty years ago. Whitney Houston sang a saccharine-sweet, pop ode to self-love with the opening declaration: “I believe the children are our future” during the mid-1980’s (Masser and Creed). As one of a myriad of female gay icons, she might have been right. Gay youths are the future; and they may reject the gay masculine ideal.

Divorced Because Husband or Wife is Gay?

I know a woman. Let’s call her Jill. She thought her husband was gay from the first day she met him. Lots of people told her he was gay from the first day they met him. But Jill didn’t care. He was handsome, smart, and sexy. She pushed the thought of him possibly batting for the other team far, far away. So far away that they dated, moved in together, got married, bought a house, had kids, and then got a divorce.
Okay, so Jill confided in me the thought her husband was gay wasn’t so far away during their mostly happy marriage. Not that far away when he took her to a club where she was the only woman in the hot pink feather boa wearing, frozen drink serving, disco ball having, techno blasting club. Most of the men there were shirtless, glistening, and kept telling her how fabulous she was. Granted, she loved the attention but why would her husband want to come here for their date night out? What happened to a nice evening at a jazz club?
The thought tried to surface, “was her husband gay?” She pushed it away. Not so far this time. When a man text messaged her husband at three in the morning and asked him to “cum over” the thought wasn’t far away at all. In fact the thought “is my husband gay?” kept getting closer and closer like a children’s game of green light, red light, when finally the winner tags the kid calling out the commands.
No winner this time though. Not Jill. Not her “in the closet” husband that took longer than her to get ready. Not their three kids who loved their daddy and thought he was the best guy in the world. Which he was. Just not for a Jill…more for another Jack.
My advice to Jill: next time you find a Jack to go up the hill with make sure you don’t both want to fetch the same pail of water. Oh, and after Jack falls down and breaks his crown, and Jill goes tumbling after…girl get up, brush yourself off and find you a Jack that wants to see you donning the hot pink feather boa…not him!

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How to Catch a Cheating Gay Man

Ignorance is bliss and yet we would do anything to burst a cheating partner. Yeah nobody likes to be fooled and it feels exactly that when someone you love has a romantic relationship behind your back. The truth hurts and fork lore has it that what you do not know cannot hurt but remaining in the darkness is no fun. The cheating partner has an option of breaking away and having a decent relationship with the new found love but does it really happen? That means they still want you in their life and they do not want to let go. How then that they have an affair with someone else? All this involves psychology but that is a topic for another day. When you catch a cheating gay man, you increase the chances of him remaining all yours or you lose the man all the same.

When a cheating gay man are busted, he either feels guilty and denounces his affair to remain faithful to you or he leaves you to be more committed to the new found love. Such are the effects of finding out about an affair. This is a great benefit and that is why i am so ready to help you with some information on the signs to look out for to catch a cheating partner. Life is short and is not supposed to be lived with blunders. Are you a good snooper? A little skills on this can be more enlightening. If you suspect his computer activities, go ahead and clear your doubts. Nowadays finding love online is so easy and he might be cheating on you in a chat site or online gay dating site. It might start small but the online flirting can get so big to destroy your relationship.

In most times, men have a habit of developing a schedule and sticking to it day in day out. We are behavioral beings and so when your gay friend suddenly changes his schedule, something might be wrong somewhere. It is not wrong when your partner works overtime or when he has new activity but it becomes worrying when he communicates this in a funny manner. If the decision was reached without your input he might be cheating on you. A cheating gay man is known for creating emotional distance. When you were starting out, chances are you were ever together but now you enjoy your own company. This is no crime because that shows the comfortable phase has been achieved but when the emotions are gone, you should be more weary.


Your instinct is a great weapon that you can use to always guard yourself against danger. If your gut signals that some other gay man has captured your man's love, observe keenly. They should be coupled up with other evidence for the allegations to be legitimate. Do not act like a non-trusting partner unless there is huge smoke which cannot be ignored. Where there is smoke, there is fire. Communicate your concerns to the cheating gay man and let him explain his behavior.

Online Dating Services Can Help The Older Gay Men

Often it becomes really tough for the gay men to find the right partners for themselves because it is not really easy to identify the correct person who thinks in a similar manner. The older gay men are even more in trouble to get the right choice as not too many people are expressive about their feelings.

This is a crude fact in our society that the young and beautiful people are awarded with a lot of opportunities in their lives when it comes to online dating. But the older people reaching the middle age often feel deserted and left alone in this trend of dating.

This discrimination is surely very painful and this is the reason why many older gay men suffer from severe depression due to their loneliness. Here are some tips which can be really helpful if you wish to boost up the dating life of yours.

This is really important to know what exactly you wish to get from your life. Some of the older gay men only like to do dating because they face problem passing time. But some of them are eager to find a partner for a long term relationship and even to get married.

The reason should be absolutely clear to you. If look matter a lot to you then this is better to decide before hand what features are those which you want to get in your dating partner. If you are able to develop a clear view then this becomes really easy to identify the crisis and solve it easily.

This is the commonest problem among the older men. They have a lot of responsibilities to accomplish and because of this they often have to neglect their own requirements and desires. They compromise with others necessities and neglect themselves.

If you are suffering from this problem then this is the time to get rid of this. Be very confident and bold about your thoughts and take every step accordingly. Some of the older gay men also suffer from identity crisis just because they are different from the general crowd. This can create anxiety and depressive phases. Make sure that you are strong enough to cope with these problems.

There are thousands of websites which offer free dating services for the older gay men. You can select one or two from the list and browse through the profiles to find out if they match your requirement or not. If you like those then this can be the right choice for you. But make sure of not leaking out any of your personal information to the online dating partner. Finally defeat your age and stay young by heart which is helpful in getting a good gay partner.

Gay Dating Agencies - Why Is It That Nice Guys Are Losers?

So, you are this nice guy who has long been registered with all the gay dating agencies under the sun, yet you did not really manage to pull off a memorable success story all through this while! Why is it that being a nice guy has somewhere deep within you, left a scar of feeling like a loser in the game of dating and relationships? Why is it that you do not get in return all that you think you truly deserve from a relationship, in spite of being the NICEST guy around town? Do you want to know why being a nice guy isn't so nice after all, especially if you wish to sustain the interest of an attractive gay date? Read on to know why all your NICENESS is driving away that cutie.

Being a nice guy, you must have noticed how you have been wading though the jungles of hot and cute gay singles across various gay dating agencies all through these years. You must have also noticed how you have been trampling your own chances with them one after the other under the merciless weight of your NICENESS. As such you have reached a level of supreme expertise in quickly losing cuties. This has led you to read this article and undo those skills that are no longer working for you. Most importantly you are reading this to know why these rules aren't working for you so you never ever repeat the same mistakes again.

First and foremost! Stop being repetitive, obvious, and typical. When your behavior begins too mirror image itself in similar patterns across various situations, it becomes too easy to know how you are going to react to the next situation. You will also notice that the frequency of such situations increases because your hot date throws more of these situations at you to test if you can stand up to the challenge of surprising him. And you fail because you repeat what is a habit. You repeat what is comfortable and you refuse to step out of your comfort zone of following your regular response prototype. This eventually makes your date lose interest in you because he no longer has anything to be curious about you. You come across as dull, uninteresting and eventually boring.

So start thinking out of the box. If you got to clear an exam, you need to study to crack any type of tricky question. You need to practice enough to be able to see through any tricky question no matter how nastily it is framed. So make the attempt. Instead of using your same old formulas in relationships, start reinventing new formulas. Remember "Practice makes perfect", be it studies, profession or your personal life itself.

The second and most immediate area of attention is to tilt the equation of power in your favor. If you do not retain your share of the power, trust me no one likes a vulnerable and dependent mate. The vulnerability being discussed here is not your physical vulnerability, which may even be attractive. But it's more about your mental stability, resoluteness and steadfastness in the face of any given crisis.

Some instances of frequent mistakes committed by men include, calling up your date incessantly. I know hormones are high; curiosity is at the hilt, you wanna really get to know him better; you wanna see if it clicks and so on and so forth. But all this is not gonna happen all of a sudden right? You have got to learn to lean back and hold a lot more than calling more than twice a week. You need to wait at times till the interest levels soar high enough within your potential gay date and they start initiating equally or more.

Else, you are obviously gonna feel used, even if your gay date never really felt so, because you just never allowed yourself to realize that you didn't give yourself the time to know if he is equally interested as well. You didn't help him generate interest in you because you were just so easily available at all times. You just showed you are dependent on this new factor in your life for a sense of security and that you really have no focus on greater priorities in life.

Some other acts you might want to give a second thought to are as follows:
- Asking him out too soon
- Being impulsive and not really weighing your options - before making decisions
- Giving gifts too soon
- Revealing your true inner feelings too soon
- Incessantly discussing your feelings and continuous changes in states of mind even if he shows a need for space, time, distance or even disinterest altogether.

So how can you confuse these cuties that seem to confuse you all the time? I know you have this whole need of being provider and providing happiness. But hold on, that hot date has come across just too many providers and may be ticking you based on some other factors he needs to figure first. Better yet, you might throw back some tests at him in return as well, such as ridiculing him with a good sense of humor. Create confusion in his mind. You could say something like, "Are you testing me? Are you scared of me? Lol! Already eh? Hahaha! Its fun messing up with you. ;D Lol!" Make him inspect himself.

Browse to learn some tips to a humorous conversation online, and if he retaliates angrily, tell him it is funny that he found it upsetting. Tell him you really appreciate that it is a nice thing about him that he is perfect and yet has a great sense of humor. This confuses him further and makes him make up to you for the drama he just exhibited, but he notices in hindsight that he just behaved in a way he wouldn't have wanted to. He did something to invoke a comment he wouldn't have normally heard from anyone else. He begins to wonder if he has any flaws.

Try some of these tips and avoid some of the pitfalls discussed earlier. This will help you will see how you have a larger variety of gay singles to choose from various gay dating agencies before you finally decide to settle for one.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Gay Dating Agency in Houston

Christophe Brillard was born and raised in Paris, France where, at age 17, he earned his French Bachelor's degree in Economics, Political and Social Sciences. Combining knowledge he gained through study of psychology and cosmetology, he created and taught a personal image consulting class where, at 23, he was the youngest teacher at the French Academy of Paris, FORLUL'AA.


Christophe Brillard went on to become an accomplished personal image consultant and also a fashion model. Despite all of these achievements, he knew the United States was truly "the land of opportunity". And so, he moved to Houston, TX in 2003 to pursue his career as a stylist and entrepreneur. Since moving across the ocean, Christophe's personal experiences as a gay man have turned out to be very different from the ones he had in France. Perhaps due to a more conservative southern culture, he found that gay men in Houston are particularly challenged when it comes to finding the right person. He and his friends seemed to have similar complaints about the dating pool: too young or too old, not single but still dating or they don't have their life together and don't know what they want. Others are involved in the alcohol or drug scene. The list goes on.


Despite these problems, Christophe believes that many gay men want the “and they lived happily ever after" ending, but often don't have the resources and information they need to succeed in finding "the One".

When Christophe turned 30 in 2008, he decided that, instead of becoming defeated by his previous relationships, he would take a stand and try to fix a dilemma that many gay men have had or are facing right now. Christophe Brillard created THE AGENCY HOUSTON, the first, private, exclusive and personalized dating agency providing introductions to gay men in the Houston area.

Some decide to go online or have a drink at a bar to meet guys. Others don't wish to gamble and really want to make sure that they are not wasting their time.

The Agency Houston says, Make your own luck! Let us assist you by introducing you to someone that matches your personality and your preferences and knows where you are coming from.



Tired of randomly dating?

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